Am I Ready?

I’ve been going along in life just flying high – traveling, training, inspired… And WHAM! My good friend and fellow trainer for 40 years, Mike Birtwistle, had a heart attack in the middle of teaching a class in China and died. Holy cow!

This made me look at my own mortality. Am I slowing down, getting gray, having pains? Living my purpose? Yes, on all counts.

I questioned, “Am I ready” if I am called to Glory? Have I accomplished what I wanted to, or fulfilled my mission? The answer is, not yet.

This has given me pause, and an opportunity to be honest with myself, once again. I challenged myself to dig deep and asked, “What else do I still want to accomplish or conquer? What do I do? And how do I get there?”

“It’s easier to get to where you’re going, if you first know where you are”.

On examination, I don’t feel ready. It’s been tempting to sometimes take life a bit for granted, even though I contribute a lot. There are still things I want to be and do – more of me to share and more to accomplish with my talents. Sensing that “life is now” I am touched & moved to be on my journey afresh.

I have sought close friends to update me on “who I am for them”. I asked them for help. Yes, I felt a little vulnerable, but a few of my supporters gladly joined my quest. They gave me feedback on how they see my strengths, my weaknesses, and me. The clearest feedback was, “Creative and connected, but not very intimate”. It was a little uncomfortable to hear that at first, but I did not take it lightly.

I incorporated the feedback. I want to be more intimate. I really do. But I feel too busy sometimes. On too many occasions, I don’t linger in the moment, get vulnerable, or steep in compassion to whomever I am with. Lest I catchmyself, I can find myself moving too quickly from one thing to another — pleasing too many masters, but reckless with my care.

I may need to make more shifts in my lifestyle, but I resolve to living in balance, giving time to myself, managing my commitments, and being present. I choose to be and do what I love, and put my energy into the things I am passionate about, rather than into the things that fill space from carelessly made agreements.

I have a new game plan, and a new bucket list. I got more clarity on what I want on my new website. I got clear that I want to now write my book. And I want to spend some quality time doing that.The universe is always sending messages and opportunities. The question is, are we listening? Are we watching? Are we heeding the call to act – to do what we love and know is right?

For me, this would allow me to be more aligned in real time, to be more compassionate, intimate, and fulfilled. But the key from here is to follow through, and use the help I asked for.

Ray Blanchard

Ray Blanchard